When I was a child, I made a poor decision which has definitely had a negative effect on my life up to this point. In 1992, I became a Pittsburgh Pirates fan. Baseball: I dug it, man. I participated in little league from tee-ball through my senior year of high school (when I quit to hang out with my girlfriend, after throwing out my arm). Over that time, I saw every good player on the Pirates roster move on to greener diamonds and/or increased steroid-use. Poor little Barry Bonds just wanted to be big and strong like Andy Van Slyke!
After taking a much-needed year away from baseball in 2006, I participated in my first fantasy baseball league with my online music community for the 2007 season. Team "Loserage" lived up to the expectation set in their name, finishing last by a long ball. Team "Loserage" also consisted of 70% Pittsburgh Pirates. They were awful. Last year, I chugged into the new season with big hopes. The team had a new manager, hitting, and pitching coaches and was returning mostly the same team from the year before! Welp, things didn't go so well last season. This year, the team comes back with a far inferior offense and a new pitching coach. My expectations? This is the year the Pirates lose 100 games; unless:
- Paul Maholm overperforms as a five-starter and becomes an ace. Unlikely.
- Ian Snell finds his balls and starts throwing inside. Possible.
- Tom Gorzelanny remembers where the strike zone is, and hits it more than the ball zone (not-a-strike-zone probably sounds better). Not counting on it.
- Adam LaRoche hits above the Mendoza line in April. It doesn't seem likely to happen.
- Andy LaRoche hits avobe the Mendoza line at any point. It doesn't seem likely to happen.
- Jack Wilson can stay healthy and productive, netting the Bucs some good young players when he's traded in July. Oh geez.
- Freddy Sanchez hits more home runs. Hahaha.
- Brandon Moss doesn't break his knee again. He's our new Jason Bay!
- Nate McClouth and Ryan Doumit have equal or better offense and better defense. Why should they bother?
- Nyjer Morgan is fun to watch, but if nobody can hit or lay down a bunt behind him then he's worthless in Pittsburgh. Ugh.
- Eric Hinske regains prime form and becomes the starting right fielder. Longshot.
- The Sun eats the planet Mercury and instructs Venus to watch itself.
After taking a much-needed year away from baseball in 2006, I participated in my first fantasy baseball league with my online music community for the 2007 season. Team "Loserage" lived up to the expectation set in their name, finishing last by a long ball. Team "Loserage" also consisted of 70% Pittsburgh Pirates. They were awful. Last year, I chugged into the new season with big hopes. The team had a new manager, hitting, and pitching coaches and was returning mostly the same team from the year before! Welp, things didn't go so well last season. This year, the team comes back with a far inferior offense and a new pitching coach. My expectations? This is the year the Pirates lose 100 games; unless:
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