Japanese people don't hold very many erections.

Where to start today off (I'll confer with my notes...): DRUG-TOWN STORY! At some point a little over a week ago (or maybe exactly one week ago), another fella and I were at DrugTown on 42nd & University collecting snacks. After grabbing chips, cookies, and drink (the perfect snack-time combination, imo) we proceeded to the check-out lanes. At the cashier was a large and obviously drunken, black man (the comma makes it not a stereotype!); I'll call him Joe Six-Pack. He was very excited about Barack Obama, yelling things like "HOPE, MOTHERFUCKER!" at the man behind him in line. A man who was clad in casual gear (black athletic shorts and slightly large t-shirt... flip-flops) and had a cart full of some random junk (I don't recall what was in his cart). I'll call him Joe the Plumber. Six-Pack was taking forever in line as his credit card wouldn't run, so he had plenty of time to make this situation very awkward. It might've been much worse if PJ (Plumber Joe) were not a Barack Obama supporter as well (or intelligently non-confrontational in his situation). He nodded his head and told Joey Six'er that he was "preaching to the choir." The cashier continued to work on the CC-dialer issue, calling over another employee (obviously defeated in his life's trials) and finally, after maybe six minutes, got things up and going. Joe Six-Pack left the store "get'n out the vote" for Obama. The cashier continued to help Joe the Plumber and the cashier's co-worker opened the next register to help me and my buddy. Our cashier apologizes to us (not for his comb-over or pedephilic mustache) for the large, boisterous man... he told us "that one's a decent, good man." He then stopped and reflected a second (before asking me to pay my total) and said "I guess we've gotta ask ourselves, are we ready for President Biden?" I asked, "huh?" to which he replied, "I give it two months before somebody kills that muslim Obama, so we're basically electing Biden." I said, "that's a pretty sick view of our country, dontcha think?" "I'm just saying... I'm a Republican."

WTF.

I collected my change, grabbed my unbagged groceries, and left the store a bit in shock. This is the first time I've witnessed first-hand the type of ignorance I assume has majority in this country, in such a painfully unexpected moment (a late-night snack transaction).
Anyways, as a metaphoric epilogue... What if Joe Six-Pack in all of his excitement forgot to register to vote or Asgard-forbid he lives in Ohio and his vote never gets counted? What if Joe the Plumber says he's likes Obama, but actually intends to vote for the old white guy? What if our dumbass cashier or one of his cousin/wife's relatives actually attempt an assassination? UGHHHHHHH. While I trust in Biden's ability (last year I assumed the ticket would end up Biden-Obama), I'm excited for the symbol Barack Obama represents in this election... which if anything, is a symbol that the people are beginning to demand change. I hope the average Joes don't fail again.

Nader Tots!

Cole and I drove to Ames earlier today to watch Ralph Nader speak at ISU. I made a couple notes regarding particular talking points of his that I really liked. The first of which was his refrain that America is the only "Western" country failing to provide so many human accomodations that would better our society; such as health care and college education. Do I think that in America, every citizen should be afforded health care? Absolutely. Do I think that in America, every citizen should be afforded a college education? Definitely. I'm on board with both ideas and am glad that the candidate I intend to vote for (Barack Obama) has plans to make both of these subjects a reality. Nader threw out $60 billion as a rough figure for what it would cost to provide free tuition to public universities. That's what our military is spending roughly every ten months in Iraq...or less than ten percent of the recent bail-out package. If we're going to create money out of nowhere, shouldn't it be for the general benefit of everybody, not just a select group? Another point from Nader is that while we're all subject to sales tax, Wall St. is exempt. If Wall St. were taxed just one tenth of one percent on the sale of derivatives, it would net $500 billion per year (they could bail themselves out?). Unfortunately, our government blew a great opportunity to institute such a policy by giving in to special interests. Ralph Nader suggested a couple of solutions for this reoccuring special interest problem. One solution would be to take away the legal stance that a corporation is a person with legal rights; which takes away any business' ability to legally participate in government. A supplemental idea I really like would be to create Congressional Watch-Dog groups in every district. Two or three non-partisan, full-time employees monitoring the actions of a distrct's representative and reporting back to that district (making more readily available information so that we can hold our representatives accountable). This can be greatly effective in that the most power granted by the Constitution to any branch of government is to Congress... a collective of representatives that can have a two-thirds (majority) change in seated representatives every four years. If we held our representatives accountable for their actions (and obvious catering to lobbyists), perhaps representatives like Leonard Boswell would rightly be out of office well before they can make such an ill-advised vote as he did on the financial markets bill. Ugh. Anyhow, the main theme of Nader's speech seemed to be "civic responsibility." He's running for President, although there's no chance of winning, because of it is his civic responsibility. He's able to spread his ideas around the country and provide a call to action for persons suffering from general apathy. He said something along the lines of 'freedom is actively engaging the forces that would potentially impede such liberty'... not simply sitting around listening to the music of our choosing or whatever inconsequential thing any of us are doing; but being involved in the process. I hope to take that to heart. Finally, a point he made a couple of times is that if one concede's to "least-worst voting" (less of two evils), one must challenge the candidate they choose to take up ideas that aren't being discussed. We must hold them accountable for flip-flops in stance, when their original stance was the right one (see: Barack Obama's FISA vote). It's with this idea, that I can still vote for Barack Obama next month and not consider myself a hypocrite. I have to challenge myself to do what's in my power to make him a candidate I support. On a smaller scale, I need to challenge myself to be more active in harassing our dumb ass local representatives until they start acting correctly in their elected capacity.

Zeitgeist: Addendum

I recommend checking this out if you've got a couple of hours to spare. It's interesting and certainly thought-provoking, even if extreme in its idealism.

Awful Waffle

Here we are again, on the verge of further handicapping any chance we have of getting out of this "crisis" on the plus side and accidentally getting back on the right track in regards to making government effective and beneficial for all Americans. If that naive bastard Pangloss were around today, he's be on John McCain's campaign staff, appreciated for his indiotic reassurances that all is for the best. The House of Reps have received a slightly retooled bill overwhelmingly passed in the Senate; it's expected to pass this time around in the House. What's different this time? An increase in FDIC backing of accounts from $100k to $250k. I guess we might as well... 'cuz when this thing crashes, the government won't have the $100k to refund the banks... they may as well not have $250k either, while furthering instability and foreshadowing the Greater Depression. This shows just how much faith they have in this package working (by insuring 150% more loss). Also, we're getting more tax cuts! YEY! Except wait... aren't we continuing to build unprecedented debt while continually increasing spending? Where's this money coming from? Ohhhhhh! We have a printer! Sweet. Well, gig's up on that! China wants their money back! Maybe they're sudden insistance is due to forsight on their part that sooner than later, the dollar will be worthless and their investment in our country was just as bad as our own. There's still the chance that this bill won't pass again. What would that signify? A fantastic change in our Legislative Branch where the voice of the common man is heard louder than that of the wealthiest 4% of our country. I hold zero hope of this happening (there's a bleak track record involved here). All is for the worst in Washington and here we are, all revolutionless.

Third Party or Bust!!!

The Senate will vote today on a slightly amended version of the bail-out bill the House put down two days ago. My Presidential pick, Sen. Obama, is pushing for it to pass and this makes me sad because I don't know if I can support him anymore. What happened to opposition in politics? Not just fillibusters and party-platform politics, but asking questions about the agenda behind a bill and looking for other solutions. This bill forces our government (our collective voice) into what should be a private and free market, allowed to prosper and fail on its own. A free market can correct itself when situations like our current one arrise. It may take some time, but in the end I think it has to be better to let the market cut its own corruption and fat by expelling these inflated industries through bankruptcy. The necessary parts are going to keep chugging along because the demand is there for their services. Forcing over $700 billion in tax payers money (created out of thin air) into the market in hopes of correcting the horribly bad decisions of some runaway special interests cannot be a good idea. Is there no understanding in Washington that everytime more money is printed, it further deflates the value of the dollar? How is that good for America or the greater world market? Are we forgetting that our "President" is the one who is trying to rush us into this? The same guy who obviously doens't give a damn about anybody who isn't wealthy enough to benefit from his policies and vote for him the last two elections? At this point, if GW suggests something, every single democrat should be against it. I thought that Barack Obama would understand the weight of this situation, but instead he's turned into Hillary Clinton. A majority of Americans do not want this bill to pass. These are the people that Obama has been talking about helping over the last year and a half and the same people who got him to the top in the primaries. The change we can believe in is a shift from Washington only working for special interests to casting out those interests in favor of the common man. If and when Barack Obama votes for this bill today, he will have made a gross error in supporting more bad ideas to help the wrong people... more of the same. Where's the Obama that I was excited about last January? That Obama would stand up against this and fight for a better solution. As much as I don't want to, I'm being forced to buy into Dr. Paul's suggestion that these two politicians (Obama & McCain) are more or less the same person (politically). I'm sure if you looked at their voting records the last few months, they'd be nearly identical as they spend this amount of time pandering for middle-ground votes... support they'll inevitably forget about next January. I still believe that Obama is far more intelligent and much less of a risk to our country than John McCain; therefore, he'll still get my vote in November. It's finally been reduced to a 'lesser of two evils' view for me... something I really hoped wouldn't happen this election.I can't wait for the election when we have viable third party candidates, if only so it'll open up the current two parties to playing better politics. Ugh. The Great Depression of 2008 for me, may have absolutely nothing to do with Wall St. and everything to do with Obama turning his back on Main St.


btw, did anybody else notice that after the House voted against this bill, gas prices went down?

It feels like summer in late Setember

Not much to write (nor much time to write) today. The debate is all systems go for tonight! I'll be at work, but downtime should allow me to see most of what is said this evening. I'm pretty excited to hear what Barack Obama's thoughts are on the economic CRISIS... I'm guessing that'll only be a small part of the debate though as the subject at hand tonight is FOREIGN POLICY.
As much as I like Ron Paul's idea of what our foreign policy should be (bring all troops home except for those there at the behest of the foreign country and mind our own business as friends to all, while doing favors for none). However, at this point it'll take a very long time to get to such a place... so baby steps in the right direction, I beg. Let's cut troops in the areas they're not needed, bring home the soldiers whose time has been served, and reallocate remaining troops to areas where their presence will make a greater difference in tieing up current disputes (ie: Afghanistan/Pakistan). What if we weren't overextended in Iraq after Katrina/Ike? We could've had a much quicker response on the home front, maybe? Eh, but what do I know...
I brought up foreign policy and immediately started with the military... How NeoConservative of me! But an important part of not just Ron Paul's philosophy, but some may say the philosophy of our founding fathers, is being friendly with all nations but granting favors to none. Why are we such good friends with Israel? Is it because Jews have all the money? What great return do we receive from Israel for pissing off the Palestinians? Sure, their people are inherently funny and Curb Your Enthusiasm is a really good show, but... I just think that we should say, "sorry, dudes. We've like, got our own problems. Peace out? Kewl beanz."
Welp, as I mentioned, I've not much time. I've got cancer. It's really bad.

The Great Depression 2

I love podcasts! Every morning when I wake up there's a halo hanging from the corner of my girlfriend's four-post bed I have already downloaded new episodes of stuff that I want to see! Currently this is only VH1's "Best Week Ever" Podcast; as well as G4TV's "Around the Net" and "The Feed with Layla Kaleigh (babe? definitely.)." All of this content for frizzle mcfree! I highly suggest checking these out or (if you're not daft) to continue already knowing how cool this is. It's pretty cool.

Pollypop? Politics! Polysix? Politics! OK. I watched Michael Moore's "Slacker Uprising" yesterday morning and the only thing I'm taking away from it is the reminder that George W. Bush won re-election in 2004, the first time I was able to vote. If I remember correctly, John Kerry was leading in the polls leading up to the election and it seemed nearly a sure thing (or at least I figured) that he would win. Certainly a majority of Americans are not so ignorant to vote for ol' GW again... ugh - history. As it continues to appear that John McCain is throwing the election, what if people become comfortable with the notion that Barack Obama is going to win the election easily. That could easily lead to some apathetic support and less voter turnout and worst case scenario - President John McCain. Now that I know a majority of voting Americans are completely retarded, I have to hope for our nation that the intelligent people just don't vote. Otherwise, we're horribly outnumbered folks... Well, Smart People (starring Dennis Quaid and Juno), as Ron Paul said "I hope you've lost your apathy!" We're getting to the point where not much can be taken for granted in our country (as it becomes less and less in our control); this election cannot be taken for granted.

As I mentioned in my FAILed Monday blog, according to Facebook, a bunch of my "classmates" from high school sorta reunited last weekend. After looking at the pictures from the event, I'm pretty sure that not going was a good idea. There was only one person there (a ladyface) that I would like to see and talk to again. Otherwise, I didn't really talk to any of the dudes and the ladies were all married and/or preggerz. Grozz! I would like to take a survey of area high schools and compare the quality of the neighborhood the school is located in vs. the average age of the former students' children at the time of their ten year reunion. I bet my high school will have an abnormally high average age of children (no thanks to my non-reproducing ass). Dirty sluts... WHOA!!! WHOA!!!! I didn't mean that!

NEW TV SO FAR:
It's Always Sunny In Philadephia (Season Four)
- HILARIOUS!
How I Met Your Mother (Season Four)
- Not as consistently good or high a quality as previous seasons... yet.
Heroes (Season Three)
- Awesommmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee!!!
Other shows I will be watching this season include: Chuck, Pushing Daisies, & 30 Rock.
The great thing about my radio job is that for eight hours a week, I get paid to surf the internet and watch TV (and push buttons a few times an hour). This gives me the chance to watch all of these shows at my own leisure, thanks to the internet (I heart you!) and the resolution of new media rights settled in the Writer's Strike (this is probably not true). Thanks unions!!!

We'll soon have you disco dancing with the best!

Wouldn't it be nice if our news organizations took their jobs seriously? I really enjoyed watching John McCain spew robot answers underfire by this no-name Maine newsguy. It's not specific to John McCain though. I wish that all serious political candidates had to face honest questioning. It'd be nice to get these figures off of their platforms and get a feel for his or her own knowledge, experience, and/or agenda. How odd is it that the only place to consistently see this type of news is on Comedy Central? I trust Jon Stewart more than my local newsteam... If those pudwacks were any good they wouldn't be in Des Moines, IA. What a mess.

Dillinger Four's new album Civil War leaked yesterday (whatever that means...) and somehow (I DON'T KNOW HOW!!!), I've listened to it (or have I!?!). It's effing gnarly! The recording is super clean (even cleaner than Situational Comedy), which I appreciate. I really dislike when "punk" bands produce "punk" recordings... LoFi doesn't hide that you're not very talented. I haven't really paid attention to the lyrics in these songs yet, but I suspect they're just as good as always. The vocal melodies are perfect though. Between D4 and the Lawrence Arms, I can't decide who I enjoy more. They both layer great dual vocals over aggressive tunes in a way that makes Billy full of happy. Anyhow, I'd be content for the above-mentioned two bands, along with Bad Religion and Pulley, to be the only punk bands whose music finds my earholes.

Burn After Reading tonight. I may even try to watch The Women at some point this weekend... Eva Mendes... grrrrrrrrrr. Definitely a Billy Certified Babe.

Class of 2003-he-hee?

I have just returned from a voyage to the library (pronounced lib (like liberty)-rare-ee. Of special note, on the particular trip I traveled by foot. GTTSW (Grand Total of Time Spent Walking): 33 minutes! WHOO-HOOO!!! Conclusion: Walking takes roughly 4.5 times as long as driving to the library. I feel nearly as good about this as James Brown felt about whatever the hell he felt good about back in the day (too soon for a JB reference? Can I take it to the bridge?). The fruit of my exercise is Ron Paul's The Revolition: A Manifesto. I'm excited to read this and discuss it with my bearded pals. It's like a lumberjack book club... how fantastic! Other books I plan to read in the upcoming weeks: Jack Kerouac's On The Road; Nick Hornby's Housekeeping vs. the Dirt; Millard Kaufman's Bowl of Cherries; Josh Brandon's Arkansas; and Dave Egger's You Shall Know Our Velocity. I also intend to finish Voltaire's Candide, which I'm currently reading. After all of which I intend to give 'riting and 'rithmatic a try (they were REALLY stretching things for the whole three r's saying). I found most of these books thanks to McSweeney's Book List, a list from a site I found out about thanks to reading an interview with Michael Ian Black about his new book My Custom Van, which I also intend to peruse at some point soon. Damnit! There's also Chuck Klosterman's Downtown Owl and John Hodgman's upcoming book of More Information Than You Require! SO MANY BOOKS! SO MUCH TIME! Kewl beanz.

Des Moines Public School Board elections were yesterday... it was a record voter turnout too! A whopping ten to fifteen thousand people went to the polls and reelected the three incumbents, despite the wishes of talk radio host and overall horrible person, Steve Deace. I didn't vote in this election nor did I know anything about it at all until last night. As a dude without children or the prospect of children anytime soon, this election doesn't have any affect on me (that I can think of). This leads to my theory that the more sexually active a person is, the more political they should be. As a fella who ain't gettin' no play, I have very little reason to care about local issues. If I'm not at work, I'm either at home on the internet or hanging out with a buddy and not doing much. If I were in a relationship and getting busy like all of the time, I would care more about local government because I would be out in the parks, downtown, and need more money to fund love. Issues like abortion may come up... just saying! Maybe an oops happens and I have a child that will be entering the public school system in the next few years? ZOMG! I need to know about politics! Perhaps, I can work my way into this backwards... If I were to get political, would I then get more sexical? This is worth looking into.

Finally, I watched the Ghostbusters movies last night on VH1 (while at work on WHO, FYI). Non sequitur: Why is it VH1? Were they worried about another Video Hits channel coming along someday and even so, MTV isn't now MTV1... Weird. Anyways, a couple things I noticed about the Ghostbusters movies: Sigourney Weaver was WAY hotter in the first movie. She hasn't really aged poorly, but her sexitivity fell dramatically at that time. Another thing: those dudes smoked SO MANY cigarettes in the first movie... but I don't remember any in the second. Were they all on the patch? Lastly, the dude who played Tom Lennox on 24 and the Viggo fella aare both super creepy in the sequel. Why so creepy!?! If it wasn't for the Statue of Liberty's march to the museum, it would nearly make that movie unwatchable for me. SOOOO CREEPY!
There's news that the writers from The Office are writing a third Ghostbusters script currently, guided by Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramis, and Ivan Reitman. Potentially Judd Apatow will produce this threequel, which could lead to new Ghostbusters like Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, and/or any slew of current funny guys. I hope this happens. When I heard that Dan Ackroyd had written a script for Ghostbusters In Hell, I realized this is the one franchise that does need revived. The rumor that Bill Murray is on board sweetens the deal too. Very funny guys getting together with younger very funny guys and making a sci-fi movie with what should be a huge budget. Please happen.

Beards vote Libertarian

If I were to at some point rub a bottle of any type, thusly freeing a genie, I would be granted three wishes (I saw it in a Disney movie with Robin Williams as the genie). My first wish: I would like to be able to grow a glorious beard. A manly chin mane. As I am apparently slow to pubesse coupled with many what I believe to be Aryan features; I am unable to grow such a MANifestation ®. I'm starting to believe this is because I have never voted Libertarian. I have three buddies who recently took a bustrip to Minneapolis to see Dr. Ron Paul, Congrassman at Law? All three of these buddies have bought into the hype of The rEVOLution: A Manifesto ⓒ (ie: will be voting for Ron Paul this November). All three of these buddies also have GREAT UBERHOSS BEARDS! Beards the likes of which would take approximately thirty generations of Billys to grow, yet only two weeks for these fellas. Personally, I agree with a lot of what I've heard Ron Paul say. The guy knows his stuff and has stuck to that knowledge for a long time. I will not be voting for Ron Paul. I do not see myself supporting a third party candidate unless they are absolutely viable. I DO look at it as a waste of my vote. My vote is not my voice... The responsibility of voting is more important than that. If you know the winner will be one of two choices, it is your responsibility to vote to keep the "greater of two evils" out. That is my opinion on that matter. This is not the only reason I will be voting for Barack Obama. I consider him just about the opposite of an evil. The great thing about this election is that it has spurned a couple of the most influential speakers of my generation. I believe Barack Obama to be the greatest of these (currently). I hang on every word of his speeches. He makes change seem posibble. His plans seem realistic. They are modifications versus complete overhauls of systems to make them productive. Unfortunately, the closer we get to The Election™, the less I see of the traits I initially liked from Obama. Playing the middle road and toning down the rhetoric of your opinions to play to voters... it's bad news. I don't want to see "more of the same" in any aspect of the Obama campaign. That's what I'm voting against. I want change. I want a beard. I'll vote Libertarian in 2012 if I have to...

Oh-ho, Dreamweaver! I believe...

I had some pleasantly odd dreams last night... it's moderately exhilarating to hook up with an ex-girlfriend while running from the owner of a hotel you used to work at. It turned out, he just needed me to sign some termination papers... not kill me. It also turned out that although I've been sexually dormant for a few years now, I've gotten much better at the game of getting busy (granted it was my dream... Weird, wild shtuff.

I have not watched or read any part of John McCain's speech from last night. I have no desire to... I don't give a shit about his time at the Hanoi Hilton. I don't care to be mocked by a Republican crowd saying 'Country First.' I'll pigeon-hole the GOP as a bunch of rich, homophobic, red-neck dumbasses... until I meet one to the contrary. I consider myself to be a moderate... there are 'Republican views' that I can get behind. Unfortunately, there isn't a single Republican politician that I could do the same for (with the exception of some of what Ron Paul says). The ideas have been buried beneath so much negativity and corruption. Acceptance of the status quo when 'the status is not... quo.' There's nothing to be excited about with McCain's campaign... just mortified. If Daddy Mac circa 2000 were here, before he was a neo-con-android, I could at least be happy that whoever wins this election, it will be an improvement over GW. I'm on board with the notion John McCain's presidency would just bring 'more of the same.' That's a pretty terrifying idea given the volatile world climate he'd be inheriting. I would really like to see a sound defeat of McCain in this election. One that would perhaps send the GOP back to the drawing board on what they represent and how they should go about doing so... turn them into a bunch of Ron Pauls? At least they'd be adorable.

Time for a shout-out to Mikey C. and AK. These two dudes can be heard in Des Moines, every Thursday night from 8:00 - 10:00pm on KDPS 88.1FM. Last night was their first show. I listened to the last half hour and counted two lols and one giggle. I'm going to be a guest on the show at some point... that'll be neat.

A lot of work for me the next few days... which means a lot of getting paid very little to do very little, which sounds fair. The Fleur is opening War, Inc. and Tell No One. I haven't heard anything about the latter, but the former stars John Cusack, Dan Ackroyd, and Marissa Tomei (did you see Before the Devil Knows You're Dead? You should if only for this sexy lady's nude scenes... not to be a perv... she just looks great naked). It's a political satire, which means it's right up that alley where I may be walking past, thinking "eh, can't be too bad." Of course, hobos live in alleys and sometimes they mug people for liquor-money. So it goes with alleys. Next weekend, the new Coen Bros. movie 'Burn After Reading' opens. Count me as excited. You put George Clooney, Brad Pitt, or John Malkovich in any movie and I will see it. Also coming out next weekend is Righteous Kill, starring Al Pacino and Robert Deniro. Can't be bad right? I have my doubts.

Welp, that does it for this one... have a good weekend!

Check. Check 1. Sibilance. Sibilance. Check. Check 2. Sibilance. Sibilance.

Something I haven't yet mentioned nor reflected anywhere on this page: I intend to update this regularly, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Also, I'll probably jot some things down randomly between here and there... so, that's the goal.

Notice to company's providing public restrooms:
What kind of customer service is it to provide a place to relieve one's self, yet provide sub-par toilet paper!?! Here's the thing... if I'm using your establishment for some Mambo #2, it's a situation that merits a decent toilet paper; otherwise, I would just return home and use the toilet paper of my own choosing (2-ply, fluffy, w/ quilts, roughly 4" wide). Given this, why would you taunt me with a place to poop and no way to clean it up! This one-ply, width-of-a-baby's palm junk will not suffice! A) I don't want to smear poop all over my butt. B) I don't want to smear poop all over my hands. C) I don't want to be standing in this restroom for the next twenty minutes! What if you provided a quality TP? Guests of your business would use less TP and leave with more than a chaffed, red bung-casm. Sure, you're at greater risk for poor people and/or college students ripping off your paper, but damnit! You owe them so much, what with the alcohol and Krispy Kreme sales (if you're a gas station)! Please, I beg you. I had to take two showers today because of this problem (and an upset stomach).

I have been absolutely enthused with "Babygate" ever since reading the first rumors a couple nights ago. For those not hanging on every Digg article, there was talk that Sarah Palin's four month old child is actually her 17 year old daughter, Bristol's. The argument behind this is that Sarah Palin doesn't appear pregnant in photographs and video taken after she announced she was pregnant (seven months at this time), shocking her staff (who hadn't noticed). Meanwhile, Bristol had been removed from school for five to eight months with "mono." Fast forward, Sarah Palin goes into labor at a speech in Texas. She then boards a plane to Seattle. She then boards a plane Anchorage. She then drives past two hospitals to Wasilla (where she was formerly Mayor) to deliver her child. WHAT!?! That's crazy! She flew at least eight hours while giving birth to a premature child with Downs Syndrome!?! ZOMG!!!1!
This is some of the best political murmoring ever!!! Imagine my disappointment when I returned home this afternoon to read that Sarah Palin announced her 17 year old daughter Bristol is five months pregnant. Alaska's Governor Sarah Palin believes in abstinence-only education. She is a pro-life conservative. Her 17 year old daughter is five months pregnant. She also endangered her child and her own life flying across the continent to give birth. WTF John McCain?
This confirms my suspicion that the GOP is throwing away this election to regroup for 2012. Letting McCain throw away his and a Governor-nobody-had-heard-of's political careers and limiting damage to future potential candidates. It's kinda wonderful. President Obama looks so incredibly promising...

"Geezuz effing christ, no way! Ugghhhhhhhhhhhh! Damn this administration!" After reading this article, that is what I said. How bad is it that I can't just write this off as ridiculous? That while our country's military is tied up in Iraq and Afghanistan... our administration just annoyed both Russia and China... that tension between Israel and Iran seems so sensitive, such a thing is not absurd? Why wouldn't GW spark the wildfire in Iran right before he leaves office? He wouldn't want to tarnish his legacy... Get those warhawk Republicans all fired up to hit the polls in November! It's sick and sad and I don't want to think about it.

On a pleasant note, as I had Twitter'd, I finally read issues #1-4 of Marvel's 'Guardians of the Galaxy' last night. It has made the jump from sat-aside to one of my favorite current books... granted we have to make it out of the first story arch and a Secret Invasion tie-in (... shit). I really dig the team dynamic, the miscellaneous characters (Cosmo ftw), and the Real World Real Room interview frames. The tie-in to the old GotG series (which I wasn't aware of until speaking with Chris today) is a pretty cool move as well. I look forward to the next issue of this as much as the [re]start of Deadpool's series this month. Yey, Marvel!

It's September, which means some great weather is ahead of us... nice cool days and nights. I look forward to chieng'n out and slowing down this year by really enjoying this autumn. Another nice thing about September is the Pirates' season is almost over. I never thought I would miss Jason Bay. His horrible defense, weak lobs to the infield, and inability to hit with runners on base only annoyed me! Then, he started to turn it around this year with some big late-inning hits... Then, the Pirates trade Xavier Nady and Damaso Marte. I liked X a bunch and really hoped that he would be able to stick around. The guy is so clutch at the plate late in a game. He would make some great catches and some strong throws to the plate. He was one of the best players I've seen in a Pirates uniform in so long. Gone. Marte, I can live without. Relief pitchers don't win games. When Bay was sent to the Red Sox, I thought the return looked very much worth the move. But alas, LaRoche looks like his brother in April... Hansen is a nut-job and can't throw strikes... Morris was shut down in AA with a bad shoulder... and Moss is obviously still a bit light on his ankle and maybe a five-spot guy in the lineup at best. Ugh. If only MLB would enforce a salary cap and the Bucs could get and keep some quality talent around. If only the Pirates could hire a manager who is out for the win every single inning of every single game. It's brutal watching them now. McCutchen should be called up this month. Let him get his feet wet for next season. Let fans have a chance to witness for themselves what this guy is about and judge if waiting for the 2011 and 2012 seasons is going to be worth the wait! Give me a reason other than my receeding hairline to sport my Bucs cap...

Iron Man and Sarah Palin

Thank you Robert Downey, Jr., Jon Favreau, and Marvel Studios. Thank you for giving cause to bring about two new comic books, "The Invincible Iron Man" and "Viva Las Vegas," the second being a four part mini-series written by Jon Favreau. Near the beginning of Invincible #4, Tony Stark and Reed Richards are playing chess on multiple boards simultaneously and chit-chatting; Tony Stark departs after putting Reed in check on each board. During this time, he finally came up with an idea as to how to track down Stane and puts this into play as only Mr. Stark could. In "Viva Las Vegas," we're witness to some sentimental junk with Pepper (which is OK because Pepper is a ginger and I'm all about the red-heads!) clogging the middle of this book as the plot develops, but the story ends with Tony Stark taking a nice leggy blonde to a casino opening, and oh shnap! [Mecha]FIN FANG FOOM is back! Fight!
This is all pretty sweet because the "Director of S.H.I.E.L.D." book, which is thankfully turning itself over to War Machine for a stint soon, doesn't show off this Tony Stark. A Tony much like Robert Downey, Jr. portrayed in the movie. The Tony that's brilliant but also chiengs out with all the fly ladies! Marvel can let the Sentry fight everybody, he's a shitty OP character akin to Superman (I'm not a fan of DC books for the most part). Iron Man books should be different because Tony Stark is WAY more interesting than Iron Man. That's the big difference between him and Batman (aside from their universe differentials and the lack of clear and interesting stories). Eff Bruce Wayne. Batman is kinda cool. Tony Stark could drop the gauntlet and still carry a title. Tony Stark, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. would be interesting. Anyhow, it's nice to have a couple good Iron Man books to read every month... I don't have to feel as bad about the twenty or so issues of DoS that I own.

So, McCain has chosen Alaska's Governor, Sarah Palin as his running mate... Did all of his buddies turn him down in hopes that they'll have a chance to run in four years? I know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about Sarah Palin except that she photographs pretty well. Seriously... kind of a babe. I haven't seen any video of her yet, though. I need to see how she moves before I endorse her for Vice-Bonerdent.
The vibe I'm picking up is that McCain wants to create dissention in the Democratic ranks, swaying some of Hillary Clinton's base to his side in November. Is that really even feasible? I don't think people are going to get confused and vote for him just because there's some estrogen on his ticket now. Any Hillary Cunton supporters that are going to vote McCain, were going to do so when Hillary finally conceeded the nomination. You can't purchase their bitterness now with a nicely packaged Alaskan MILF. Perhaps, this is a beaurocratic way of riding out the next two months and regrouping for 2012?