Patting America's Collective Back vs. You Scratch Mine, I'll Scratch Yours

I'm not really sure exactly what to talk about now that Barack Obama has been elected. My diet is still going pretty well. I've also been forgetting about my OKCupid.com account a lot and am checking in only once a week or so now. Still haven't gotten those WTF Reports! Women... What else? I still need to find a day job. Any ideas? I watched You Don't Mess With the Zohan a couple days ago. I didn't hate it... John Tuturo plus Hummus gags equals satisfactory. Hmmmm...

Going into last night, I had zero faith in the American Electorate. How could I when GW was elected twice (regardless of Gore's victory)? People are obviously mentally handicapped on the whole. Look at those Sarah Palin rallies! FULL OF 'TARDS. I guess even a broken watch is right twice a day though, amirite? America elected the vastly more intelligent and presidential individual to the office. Democrats picked up Senate and House seats. For the first time in ten years, a liberal agenda (whatever that means) can and most likely will be put back into action. It's exciting stuff; as it represents a 180 from the theocratic movement that began to take over mid-Clinton. It's a brilliant opprotunity for some real change... I still find it hard to have faith in politicians to make change. A small CNN poll just taken suggests 94 percent of others feel like a new president can make a difference. It seems to me that if anybody could, Barack Obama should have a good shot. The celebration babies conceived last night surely have a much brighter future now than they might have otherwise.

It's noon. It's lunchtime.

I Don't Know Much, But I..."

LOVE Horatio Sanz's impression of Aaron Neville; cocoa buttery goodness. ONTO TODAY! (I foresee many of these impromptu bastardizations of capitalization in today's entry, BEWARE!) I'm beginning to think that Bobby Moynihan (the newest Featured player on SNL) may be the long overdo replacement of Horatio's role on the show; which as I see it, was to be goofy and fun no matter what circumstance (a comedy sketch failsafe). I'm still raving over last week's episode, so I'll point out this example: Moynihan in the Asshole Advertising sketch, crying. BRILLIANT! You may go watch that clip on Hulu if you like... Hulu... Huuuuluuu... HULU!

Forrest Gump is on HBO at this very moment. Forrest Gump is in my opinion, the best movie that I, personally, enjoy.

I plan on rocking the vote shortly (Billy Shortly) after this little P.Diddy right here. Perhaps I'll write about my choices on Friday or Monday. The only candidates I've endorsed at this point are Barack Obama and The Guy Who Isn't Leonard Boswell. If somebody tells you that "Ut oh! I think I blog'ed myself totally just endorsed Tom Harkin via twitter!" then that person is a liar. I'm on the fence with Harkin. He's beginning to look a lot like Boswell... who looks a lot like Hillary Clinton (politically). That type of Democrat needs to be removed the same as the GOP needs to distance itself from Neo-Conservatives and the Evangelical Right. The last election was obviously a step in this direction, in that the people supported change more than their candidate. I think that some of that is definitely spilling over into this election, in addition to overwhelming support for a candidate people really believe in. As I've said, I don't believe in him so much... but I'm definitely very much supporting a vote for change.

I began a diet the day after watching the DWS show video... I hadn't realized up to that point just how much bigger I am these days. Without divulging the detail of an exact weight, I will announce that I've successfully shed nine pounds (-9 LBs) over this two weeks. It's my goal to triple that loss over the next month or so. GOALS!

Class of 2003-he-hee?

I have just returned from a voyage to the library (pronounced lib (like liberty)-rare-ee. Of special note, on the particular trip I traveled by foot. GTTSW (Grand Total of Time Spent Walking): 33 minutes! WHOO-HOOO!!! Conclusion: Walking takes roughly 4.5 times as long as driving to the library. I feel nearly as good about this as James Brown felt about whatever the hell he felt good about back in the day (too soon for a JB reference? Can I take it to the bridge?). The fruit of my exercise is Ron Paul's The Revolition: A Manifesto. I'm excited to read this and discuss it with my bearded pals. It's like a lumberjack book club... how fantastic! Other books I plan to read in the upcoming weeks: Jack Kerouac's On The Road; Nick Hornby's Housekeeping vs. the Dirt; Millard Kaufman's Bowl of Cherries; Josh Brandon's Arkansas; and Dave Egger's You Shall Know Our Velocity. I also intend to finish Voltaire's Candide, which I'm currently reading. After all of which I intend to give 'riting and 'rithmatic a try (they were REALLY stretching things for the whole three r's saying). I found most of these books thanks to McSweeney's Book List, a list from a site I found out about thanks to reading an interview with Michael Ian Black about his new book My Custom Van, which I also intend to peruse at some point soon. Damnit! There's also Chuck Klosterman's Downtown Owl and John Hodgman's upcoming book of More Information Than You Require! SO MANY BOOKS! SO MUCH TIME! Kewl beanz.

Des Moines Public School Board elections were yesterday... it was a record voter turnout too! A whopping ten to fifteen thousand people went to the polls and reelected the three incumbents, despite the wishes of talk radio host and overall horrible person, Steve Deace. I didn't vote in this election nor did I know anything about it at all until last night. As a dude without children or the prospect of children anytime soon, this election doesn't have any affect on me (that I can think of). This leads to my theory that the more sexually active a person is, the more political they should be. As a fella who ain't gettin' no play, I have very little reason to care about local issues. If I'm not at work, I'm either at home on the internet or hanging out with a buddy and not doing much. If I were in a relationship and getting busy like all of the time, I would care more about local government because I would be out in the parks, downtown, and need more money to fund love. Issues like abortion may come up... just saying! Maybe an oops happens and I have a child that will be entering the public school system in the next few years? ZOMG! I need to know about politics! Perhaps, I can work my way into this backwards... If I were to get political, would I then get more sexical? This is worth looking into.

Finally, I watched the Ghostbusters movies last night on VH1 (while at work on WHO, FYI). Non sequitur: Why is it VH1? Were they worried about another Video Hits channel coming along someday and even so, MTV isn't now MTV1... Weird. Anyways, a couple things I noticed about the Ghostbusters movies: Sigourney Weaver was WAY hotter in the first movie. She hasn't really aged poorly, but her sexitivity fell dramatically at that time. Another thing: those dudes smoked SO MANY cigarettes in the first movie... but I don't remember any in the second. Were they all on the patch? Lastly, the dude who played Tom Lennox on 24 and the Viggo fella aare both super creepy in the sequel. Why so creepy!?! If it wasn't for the Statue of Liberty's march to the museum, it would nearly make that movie unwatchable for me. SOOOO CREEPY!
There's news that the writers from The Office are writing a third Ghostbusters script currently, guided by Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramis, and Ivan Reitman. Potentially Judd Apatow will produce this threequel, which could lead to new Ghostbusters like Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, and/or any slew of current funny guys. I hope this happens. When I heard that Dan Ackroyd had written a script for Ghostbusters In Hell, I realized this is the one franchise that does need revived. The rumor that Bill Murray is on board sweetens the deal too. Very funny guys getting together with younger very funny guys and making a sci-fi movie with what should be a huge budget. Please happen.