Dummy Up, Uh-Aowoh.

Spelling out sounds is an interesting way to waste more time than you intend. I ran into this for the first time a couple months ago when editing the notorious James Snaps! video. If you've seen the video, you probably wouldn't guess that I spent a fortnight translating those captions. I didn't, but nonetheless you would not have guessed that. It may've taken only an hour or so, I don't really remember... However, I distinctly remember that it took longer than I had expected! I ran into this not five minutes ago when titling this post, "Dummy Up, Uh-Aowoh." I was trying to translate Ben Weasel's 'whoa' in the refrain of the song "Dummy Up," featured on the album "Television City Dream" (my favorite Screeching Weasel album).

Brb. Suburban Rhythm album just finished downloading and requires me systematically creating a new folder structure, formatting the file names with correct capitalization, copying to iTunes music folder, adding to iTunes library, formatting ID3 tags, finding album art larger than 200 x 200 pixels, and finally listening to it!

Getting funky now... my final point here is that whoever creating the ottomottopea for the old Batman television series had it a lot harder than any of us may've realized. He was really good at his job too.



I'm quite disappointed that our great city doesn't have one theater that'll be showing the new Bruce Campbell movie, "My Name Is Bruce." Get some cajones you el theatres! The movie looks like Bubba Ho-Tep with Bruce Campbell playing himself instead of Elvis, but this is completely fine by me. They could remake Evil Dead again with Bruce as himself instead of Ash and I'd be tickled that were using my idea. All I'm saying is it doesn't matter what the plot is, Bruce Campbell is the lead; therefore, get the effing movie.


Another film coming up that I feel exactly the same about is JCVD. You've heard of this movie because it's the best idea to ever come out of whatever country Jean Claude Van-Damme is from. As a kid who saw Street Fighter in the theater at least three times (once at the old downtown movie theater, which was awesome but now is an elementary school), I am a fan of Mr. Claude Van Damme. There's a slew of other Van Damme films like Kickboxer that are all equally amazing. Now JCVD is old and JCVD has to kick some non-JCVD ass... in real (ficticious - granted this could've happened in Bulgaria...) life. Sounds awesome right? Yes. Unforunately, also not playing in the greater (says who!?!) Des Moines area. Yet, we get shit films like Happy-Go-Lucky. Fuck Happy-Go-Lucky. I feel a bitterness towards that film not unlike the feelings of a child towards some jerk who took his kite, ran around with it, then broke and stabbed him in the brain with said kite's non-string parts. He survived.

Off to write a fan letter to SouthSiderStudios' fullbodycast, free on iTunes. Podcasts are to boredom what Catholic Priests are to defenseless young Catholic boys.