Come see my new band, (Backwards) Capital H. We're playing at the Mews (name drop?) next Sunday. We only play Sundays as we believe that while our music may not be in any way religious, it is epic in ways that are void of reason (see: religious). Are you a religious person? I'm sorry you don't have the common sense and strength of character that I acquired by age twelve. You can still come and put your hands in the air, like you just don't care about science (let me hear you say "HEY!" "ZEUS!"). Our drummer recently purchased a china symbol... made in China. It cost quite a bit more than the ones you'll find at Guitar Center (other instruments gravitate to the guitary center of chain musical equipment sales). Thanks to his purchase we are now 43% more loud, which translates to a net rock profit of 3.2 million dollars a year. This money will all go to funding research into quenching my stomach-lust for cookies. Did I mention there's also a cute lady in our band? So... you probably want to have an excuse to look at her for twenty five minutes. HANDS OFF THOUGH! She's spoken for. Our band has entered into an agreement that we can only date one another, especially if we become addicted to coke (influences? Fleetwood Mac). We wrote a song we call, "Hardwood Mac." It's a tale of a little girl named Stevie... who grew up to be the first professional female basketball player when drafted by the 1967 New York Knicks. Sadly, she chose music over basketball (like SHAQ) and has probably regretted it ever since (like SHAQ). Rounding out our band is leading synth sensation, Abercrombie Rick. He would describe our sound as "post-art." He's pretty cool. I hate him. Anyways, it's the late show so persons under age 21 and without a good fake ID will have to go do drugs or other illegal activity whilst us adults get responsibly crunk. Sorry! After the show, we're all meeting at Abercrombie Rick's house for a LFO Dance Party. See you there!
Friday, December 5, 2008
BACKWARDS CAPITAL H!
Come see my new band, (Backwards) Capital H. We're playing at the Mews (name drop?) next Sunday. We only play Sundays as we believe that while our music may not be in any way religious, it is epic in ways that are void of reason (see: religious). Are you a religious person? I'm sorry you don't have the common sense and strength of character that I acquired by age twelve. You can still come and put your hands in the air, like you just don't care about science (let me hear you say "HEY!" "ZEUS!"). Our drummer recently purchased a china symbol... made in China. It cost quite a bit more than the ones you'll find at Guitar Center (other instruments gravitate to the guitary center of chain musical equipment sales). Thanks to his purchase we are now 43% more loud, which translates to a net rock profit of 3.2 million dollars a year. This money will all go to funding research into quenching my stomach-lust for cookies. Did I mention there's also a cute lady in our band? So... you probably want to have an excuse to look at her for twenty five minutes. HANDS OFF THOUGH! She's spoken for. Our band has entered into an agreement that we can only date one another, especially if we become addicted to coke (influences? Fleetwood Mac). We wrote a song we call, "Hardwood Mac." It's a tale of a little girl named Stevie... who grew up to be the first professional female basketball player when drafted by the 1967 New York Knicks. Sadly, she chose music over basketball (like SHAQ) and has probably regretted it ever since (like SHAQ). Rounding out our band is leading synth sensation, Abercrombie Rick. He would describe our sound as "post-art." He's pretty cool. I hate him. Anyways, it's the late show so persons under age 21 and without a good fake ID will have to go do drugs or other illegal activity whilst us adults get responsibly crunk. Sorry! After the show, we're all meeting at Abercrombie Rick's house for a LFO Dance Party. See you there!
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2 comments:
i hope this is true!
me too!
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