Canon in D Remix (Remix)

I hope for your sake that you're ahead of the curve (me... I'm the curve) and are well aware of the unholy awesomeness of Ronald Jenkees. BEHOLD:

Ummmmm, wtf. It's like Harry Carry met Timberland; they get sexy and had a man-love child prodigy with mild Downs Syndrome. I'm listening to his album right now and will probably be listening to it all day because it is entrancing. (I'm currently tranced.) As a white male, I only tend to bob my head when looking at my tax forms (amirite all Black comedians!?!) A side-effect of being tranced appears to be head-bobbing. Has anybody else suffered these same symptoms? Let me know... we may have a class action lawsuit on our hands, here: Ronald Jenkees v. Mind Slaves of Ronald Jenkees. Anyhow, GET INTO IT!

I've played in bands off and on since sophomore year of high school. My first band ended up named "Out the Door" (I was dropped off at Kyle's house and didn't arrange for a ride home, much to the annoyance of Kyle and Steve, who didn't want to take me home. Something to the effect of "you just go out the door without thinking!" was said and the band was named). We played one show; a three song set that included a cover of the Ventures' "Pipeline" and two original songs, "My Velcro" and "JB Hates Ska." I then played solo for the first time when I sang another original, "Happy Belated Birthday (You're Retarded)." This solo moment spawned my acoustic solo project, Billy Confessional which lasted throughout high school; my one hit song being "Fat Gurl Likes the Pie." It was and still is atrocious. Before all of this, my buddies formed a ska/punk outfit in late 1999 named Driving While Stupid (after their second guitarist, a sterotypically bad Asian driver). After dwelling on the failure of OtD for a while, I formed my own ska/punk band, The Mailbox Snatchers. We played quite a few shows over a couple of years (opening for bands like The Slackers and Big D & the Kids Table, both in Iowa City) before fading into local band obscurity. DWS trudged along during this time, only once interrupted by aspirations of taking things seriously (see: The Contingency), but that didn't really work out (see: DWS's first full length "Contingencies Never Work"). After Mailbox, I was bandless for sometime. I recorded bass for an Eric and the Floaters split album with the Argos (even writing the bass line to "Unicron vs. Death Star") while hanging around sometime around 2003.
Fast forward a bit, Little Billy and the Naughty Thoughts formed as my first band completely sans ska. We played the GrandView College Talent Show, placed second and won $500. This remains the only money I've ever made from music. Meanwhile, DWS continuef with an evolving cast of members.
>>FORWARD>> I moved to Iowa City just before 2005, effectively ending my stay in the music scene. (It was around this time that DWS "broke up" for the first time.) After my then-girlfriend left me and I dropped out of school, there wasn't much holding me in the IC aside from my job. Shortly after I was fired from that job (Spring of 2006), I moved back to Des Moines and started jamming with my buddy Tony. This led to a new ska/punk project named Moving Mikey (after a game on Nick Arcade - we ran through many Mike O'Malley references before finally settling on another Nickeloden referemce). That lasted through two shows (including a trip to Wisconsin for Skappleton!) over about a years' time. (Meanwhile, DWS played a couple of reunion shows). After MM, Tony and I kept jamming, writing songs for a more agressive punk band named Banzai! Banzai!, but eventually his fiance became increasingly annoying (at least that's how I felt) and Tony couldn't hang out with me anymore because I didn't like her. That was and is still dumb.
>>FORWARD>> More time passes, it's 2008, and I'm hanging out with some of the dudes I used to hang out with before I moved to Iowa City. ( I still haven't dated a lady since the IC.) I am bored as are these dudes, some of whom were in Driving While Stupid... a band that I was still to this point never a member of. We started talking about playing some tunes, but nothing materialized until all of the sudden, about a month ago, DWS is back together and I'm playing guitar (about one month after I finally sold my amp). We've practiced a couple of times, not too much rust on their end, and in a couple of weeks:
Be there if you like... I'm not psyched at all about the venue and don't see mself hanging around, but it should be a good time while I'm there. We can chieng out afterwards! YEY!


Ronald Jenkees.

It feels like summer in late Setember

Not much to write (nor much time to write) today. The debate is all systems go for tonight! I'll be at work, but downtime should allow me to see most of what is said this evening. I'm pretty excited to hear what Barack Obama's thoughts are on the economic CRISIS... I'm guessing that'll only be a small part of the debate though as the subject at hand tonight is FOREIGN POLICY.
As much as I like Ron Paul's idea of what our foreign policy should be (bring all troops home except for those there at the behest of the foreign country and mind our own business as friends to all, while doing favors for none). However, at this point it'll take a very long time to get to such a place... so baby steps in the right direction, I beg. Let's cut troops in the areas they're not needed, bring home the soldiers whose time has been served, and reallocate remaining troops to areas where their presence will make a greater difference in tieing up current disputes (ie: Afghanistan/Pakistan). What if we weren't overextended in Iraq after Katrina/Ike? We could've had a much quicker response on the home front, maybe? Eh, but what do I know...
I brought up foreign policy and immediately started with the military... How NeoConservative of me! But an important part of not just Ron Paul's philosophy, but some may say the philosophy of our founding fathers, is being friendly with all nations but granting favors to none. Why are we such good friends with Israel? Is it because Jews have all the money? What great return do we receive from Israel for pissing off the Palestinians? Sure, their people are inherently funny and Curb Your Enthusiasm is a really good show, but... I just think that we should say, "sorry, dudes. We've like, got our own problems. Peace out? Kewl beanz."
Welp, as I mentioned, I've not much time. I've got cancer. It's really bad.

The Great Depression 2

I love podcasts! Every morning when I wake up there's a halo hanging from the corner of my girlfriend's four-post bed I have already downloaded new episodes of stuff that I want to see! Currently this is only VH1's "Best Week Ever" Podcast; as well as G4TV's "Around the Net" and "The Feed with Layla Kaleigh (babe? definitely.)." All of this content for frizzle mcfree! I highly suggest checking these out or (if you're not daft) to continue already knowing how cool this is. It's pretty cool.

Pollypop? Politics! Polysix? Politics! OK. I watched Michael Moore's "Slacker Uprising" yesterday morning and the only thing I'm taking away from it is the reminder that George W. Bush won re-election in 2004, the first time I was able to vote. If I remember correctly, John Kerry was leading in the polls leading up to the election and it seemed nearly a sure thing (or at least I figured) that he would win. Certainly a majority of Americans are not so ignorant to vote for ol' GW again... ugh - history. As it continues to appear that John McCain is throwing the election, what if people become comfortable with the notion that Barack Obama is going to win the election easily. That could easily lead to some apathetic support and less voter turnout and worst case scenario - President John McCain. Now that I know a majority of voting Americans are completely retarded, I have to hope for our nation that the intelligent people just don't vote. Otherwise, we're horribly outnumbered folks... Well, Smart People (starring Dennis Quaid and Juno), as Ron Paul said "I hope you've lost your apathy!" We're getting to the point where not much can be taken for granted in our country (as it becomes less and less in our control); this election cannot be taken for granted.

As I mentioned in my FAILed Monday blog, according to Facebook, a bunch of my "classmates" from high school sorta reunited last weekend. After looking at the pictures from the event, I'm pretty sure that not going was a good idea. There was only one person there (a ladyface) that I would like to see and talk to again. Otherwise, I didn't really talk to any of the dudes and the ladies were all married and/or preggerz. Grozz! I would like to take a survey of area high schools and compare the quality of the neighborhood the school is located in vs. the average age of the former students' children at the time of their ten year reunion. I bet my high school will have an abnormally high average age of children (no thanks to my non-reproducing ass). Dirty sluts... WHOA!!! WHOA!!!! I didn't mean that!

NEW TV SO FAR:
It's Always Sunny In Philadephia (Season Four)
- HILARIOUS!
How I Met Your Mother (Season Four)
- Not as consistently good or high a quality as previous seasons... yet.
Heroes (Season Three)
- Awesommmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee!!!
Other shows I will be watching this season include: Chuck, Pushing Daisies, & 30 Rock.
The great thing about my radio job is that for eight hours a week, I get paid to surf the internet and watch TV (and push buttons a few times an hour). This gives me the chance to watch all of these shows at my own leisure, thanks to the internet (I heart you!) and the resolution of new media rights settled in the Writer's Strike (this is probably not true). Thanks unions!!!

Monday=Fail

Under the false assumption that I have even one reader who is going to stop by today and wonder why there's no update, this post is to serve as notice. I don't have much to say today, and really, I kinda want to spend the next couple hours reading before I go to work at three. So, rather than bore the two of us with a review of Man On Wire (which was most excellent), a status non-update on my WTF Reports, or some words on the unofficial five year high school reunion that went down last weekend (sans Billy), there is this. I may still talk about any of those things, but it'll have to wait 'til Wednesday... I apologize that I couldn't provide any more time-consuming of a waste of time for you. As countless others, including Andy Samberg and Bill Hader, have said, "LATERZ!"

Where there's a Will, there's a dude probably named William.

ANOTHER WTF REPORT REJECTED! This one from the number three girl on the top five. This gives me a grand total of two rejects, one accept, and two remain pending... #1 & #4. I don't give a damn what number four thinks really... I couldn't live with myself proceeding forward with a number four. I do wish that number one would get off her ass and get back on her ass in front of a computer looking at her WTF Report Requests!!! How am I supposed to know if you're not dumb? Am I just supposed to message you based on my attraction to you from a profile picture? Do you wish me so shallow!?! Ugh. Maybe she already found love in the outside world... awwwww. That'd be adorable; but to quote Ben Affleck, "When Lord!?! When's gonna be mah time!?!" I'd go all Jesusy if it meant an increase in lady time... Jesusy... This pasta is good, but I just wish it was a bit more Jesusy.

I applied for a pretty Jesusy job yesterday. It was suggested to me by a pal that I should submit a resume to a very large Catholic church in West Des Moines, as they were looking for a full time audio engineer. "Well shoot," I said. "I've done been running audio boards for six years! But darn! I ain't got no Jesus in me!" My inner voice was raised in the Appalachians. I included with my resume, a cover letter that specifically noted that while tolerant of others' beliefs, I identify myself as an Agnostic. No Jesus gossip here, folks. I'm not so bold as to say it isn't possible (too many dumb arguments come from this statement)... I am so bold as to say that I find it very highly unlikely. I attended Church every Sunday morning while growing up. I have my own Bible with my name etched into the cover (It was a prize for remembering the Ten Commandments quicker than others in my class). I was into the story, but even through most of that time, that is all I looked at it as. This great story that supports the building of some very decent moral values (Disclaimer: only some, some of that shit is super outdated amirite?). It's an early childhood education tool that way too many bigkids are still more into than logic and rationale [a skill that science suggests may only be contained in a small percentage Y chromosomes (see: science)].
As I grew older, I realized that for some reason society made it necessary for me to arbitrarily identify my specific take on the subject at hand. After reading Bertrand Russell's Why I Am Not A Christian, I decided that whole fear of God thing really wasn't for me and having learned the opposite of Jesus is anarchy, I was an anarchist for a month or so. After learning that anarchy actually doesn't really have to deal with religion, I was an Athiest for a couple years. Then, I read some arguments people were having online in these magical forums. This is where I first read the word Agnostic. I looked it up and saw that it provided for total liberation from the discussion because you can apathetically be on both sides of the fence (without chafing). Since that time, I've seen no reason to change my stance on the subject. I figure that if I'm bleeding out, I'll probably say a prayer and if that doens't work and a vengeful mother fucker of a God doesn't want to hang out with me, I'll go to hell or wherever on principal alone.

I'm in Delaware...

I've got my turkey Lunchable and a bottle of water... it's bloggin' time! First things first, does anybody else think its weird that John McCain looks like he's got the driest skin but that it may be melting? I think it is weird. There's just no way that old so and so can possibly win this election. I don't think the red staters can mate, go 18 years into the future, find their future children (while avoiding their future selves for fear of undoing God's existence), and return to the present with their future children, amend the Contitution specifically allowing future citizens the right to vote in current elections, and then all vote for John McCain. Inconceivable! I really hope that Sarah Palin manages to stay in the media view though. It stands to give NBC audiences a couple more minutes of Tina Fey every week and the only thing better than that folks... is another couple more minutes of Tina Fey ever day.

I've recently come back around to the wonderful world of Lunchables lunch snacks; specifically, the original line-up of crackers, meat, cheese, and cookies. My favorite of these combinations is Cracker, Turkey, Cheddar, OREO Cookies! The Ham combo comes with Vanilla cookies, which are also pretty good. This brings me to wonder why the cocky bastards at OREO only bring out the vanilla cookies on occassion!?! Is chocolate sooooooo much better that you've decided, despite a hungry public, to latch onto and only promote the dark side!?! I have to rely on subpar cookie companies to provide me with a vanilla option and that truly a shame. Open your eyes OREO! There's so many more possibilities out there! What if you took one vanilla cookie with one chocolate cookie and put a strawberry cream in the middle... NEOREOPOLITANS®!!!

Oh, btw, one of five WTF Reports has been accepted. This led to further internet investigation (facebook search) and ultimately huge disappointment (the new facebook?) when I stumbled upon some unflattering pictures. Sorry, lady. Unfortunately, beggars can be choosers when it comes to love (I think Lars Ulrich said that back in '95ish). This is why I'm pretty sure evolution wants my blood line gone. I'm programmed to believe that any girl I'm attracted to has no interest in me; however, I lack 'what if scenario' programming that defaults to just settling for whatever I can get. That's buncombe! Somewhere along the line, my DNA dropped the ball.

Fever Pitch

A couple of months ago, a buddy of mine joined a 'find your perfect match' type of website. He told me a little bit about it and that at the very least, it increased the minute chance of him meeting a girl (and that the site is completely free). I was sold. He exited the site after about two weeks, after a meeting that didn't go so well. I've stuck with it and have just in the last week become more active within the site. The thing here is that I'm not very good with socializing in general, let alone when an attractive female is in the mix... it's a bit of a phobia. At my bank, there's one teller who is probably the cutest lady I've ever seen. When I see she's working, I can't go into the bank for fear of her talking to me (how do I know she's there? She was leaving while I was at the ATM one day, so I know what she drives... so I'm accidentally a stalker?). Anyways, I've recently worked up the nerve to request a "WTF Report" from a couple of Des Moines area singles. A WTF Report compares each of our answers to questions the site provides in order to get to know us. This way, I can get a better feel for how the lady whose answers I've requested and decide if I should take the plunge and message her. I requested two of these reports last week... they have been pending since. PENDING! THEY HAVE NOT YET BEEN REJECTED! I thought of this as a good sign. My profile actually requires a pause before rejecting! SCORE!!! This left me feeling a bit cocky, so I requested another WTF Report (membership drive for The Billy Club!). REJECTED! Of the six matches I approve of, this lady was #2 on the list. She looks very cute, kinda nerdy maybe, and possibly intelligent per her info. page. THIS IS ALL IT TAKES TO BE #2!!! She looked at my profile and said, "nope... not this dude." Ugh. Shot to the heart, baby (and you're to blame!). #3 and #6 couldn't make up their minds, and #2 votes neigh (as does Senator Mr. Ed, R-AZ). Do I even bother to ask #1 at this point? It's plainly obvious that the more interest I have in a lady, the less she has in me! Welp, I wasn't going to but I dared myself. It sounded like this: "I double dare you to do it, you sissy!" Then the Marty McFly in me asked, "you calling me chicken?" My Biff personality then replied, "I thought I told you never to come here again!" Then, I interrupted and said, "I'm just gonna do it." This happened just about an hour ago. "Great Scott!!!" All of this just to compare some thoughts with an attractive person without having to meet her. I'm going to have another fantastic trilogy's worth of material if she actually approves my WTF request...

We'll soon have you disco dancing with the best!

Wouldn't it be nice if our news organizations took their jobs seriously? I really enjoyed watching John McCain spew robot answers underfire by this no-name Maine newsguy. It's not specific to John McCain though. I wish that all serious political candidates had to face honest questioning. It'd be nice to get these figures off of their platforms and get a feel for his or her own knowledge, experience, and/or agenda. How odd is it that the only place to consistently see this type of news is on Comedy Central? I trust Jon Stewart more than my local newsteam... If those pudwacks were any good they wouldn't be in Des Moines, IA. What a mess.

Dillinger Four's new album Civil War leaked yesterday (whatever that means...) and somehow (I DON'T KNOW HOW!!!), I've listened to it (or have I!?!). It's effing gnarly! The recording is super clean (even cleaner than Situational Comedy), which I appreciate. I really dislike when "punk" bands produce "punk" recordings... LoFi doesn't hide that you're not very talented. I haven't really paid attention to the lyrics in these songs yet, but I suspect they're just as good as always. The vocal melodies are perfect though. Between D4 and the Lawrence Arms, I can't decide who I enjoy more. They both layer great dual vocals over aggressive tunes in a way that makes Billy full of happy. Anyhow, I'd be content for the above-mentioned two bands, along with Bad Religion and Pulley, to be the only punk bands whose music finds my earholes.

Burn After Reading tonight. I may even try to watch The Women at some point this weekend... Eva Mendes... grrrrrrrrrr. Definitely a Billy Certified Babe.

LAWLVERINE!

Don't get me started on this actual scene by the way... WTF were they thinking crediting anybody as Omega Red... let alone a tan dude with dark hair. Ugh. I can't wait for the Ultimate Bastardisation of Deadpool coming up next year in the Wolverine: Origins movie! BTW, the new Deadpool series starts today! I'll be reading issue #1 in about an hour.

EDIT:
This issue was AWESOME! Apparently, ol' Deadpool is a wee bit more delusional now.. and is having a three-way conversation with himself despite taking on a ship full of Skrulls by himself... but this issue sets the stage for some great books to come. Whew! Another big "whew" is due for Paco Medina's pencils as well. I really dig his style. I thought I'd read that Way was paired with Steve Dillon (from Wolverine: Origins) again, which would've been unfortunate news because Dillon's pencils are super weak. Medina was probably my favorite artist during Messiah Complex. He and Skottie Young (who was penciling covers for the Cable & Deadpool series towards its end) are both incredibly skilled. I iz envious? Yes.

Class of 2003-he-hee?

I have just returned from a voyage to the library (pronounced lib (like liberty)-rare-ee. Of special note, on the particular trip I traveled by foot. GTTSW (Grand Total of Time Spent Walking): 33 minutes! WHOO-HOOO!!! Conclusion: Walking takes roughly 4.5 times as long as driving to the library. I feel nearly as good about this as James Brown felt about whatever the hell he felt good about back in the day (too soon for a JB reference? Can I take it to the bridge?). The fruit of my exercise is Ron Paul's The Revolition: A Manifesto. I'm excited to read this and discuss it with my bearded pals. It's like a lumberjack book club... how fantastic! Other books I plan to read in the upcoming weeks: Jack Kerouac's On The Road; Nick Hornby's Housekeeping vs. the Dirt; Millard Kaufman's Bowl of Cherries; Josh Brandon's Arkansas; and Dave Egger's You Shall Know Our Velocity. I also intend to finish Voltaire's Candide, which I'm currently reading. After all of which I intend to give 'riting and 'rithmatic a try (they were REALLY stretching things for the whole three r's saying). I found most of these books thanks to McSweeney's Book List, a list from a site I found out about thanks to reading an interview with Michael Ian Black about his new book My Custom Van, which I also intend to peruse at some point soon. Damnit! There's also Chuck Klosterman's Downtown Owl and John Hodgman's upcoming book of More Information Than You Require! SO MANY BOOKS! SO MUCH TIME! Kewl beanz.

Des Moines Public School Board elections were yesterday... it was a record voter turnout too! A whopping ten to fifteen thousand people went to the polls and reelected the three incumbents, despite the wishes of talk radio host and overall horrible person, Steve Deace. I didn't vote in this election nor did I know anything about it at all until last night. As a dude without children or the prospect of children anytime soon, this election doesn't have any affect on me (that I can think of). This leads to my theory that the more sexually active a person is, the more political they should be. As a fella who ain't gettin' no play, I have very little reason to care about local issues. If I'm not at work, I'm either at home on the internet or hanging out with a buddy and not doing much. If I were in a relationship and getting busy like all of the time, I would care more about local government because I would be out in the parks, downtown, and need more money to fund love. Issues like abortion may come up... just saying! Maybe an oops happens and I have a child that will be entering the public school system in the next few years? ZOMG! I need to know about politics! Perhaps, I can work my way into this backwards... If I were to get political, would I then get more sexical? This is worth looking into.

Finally, I watched the Ghostbusters movies last night on VH1 (while at work on WHO, FYI). Non sequitur: Why is it VH1? Were they worried about another Video Hits channel coming along someday and even so, MTV isn't now MTV1... Weird. Anyways, a couple things I noticed about the Ghostbusters movies: Sigourney Weaver was WAY hotter in the first movie. She hasn't really aged poorly, but her sexitivity fell dramatically at that time. Another thing: those dudes smoked SO MANY cigarettes in the first movie... but I don't remember any in the second. Were they all on the patch? Lastly, the dude who played Tom Lennox on 24 and the Viggo fella aare both super creepy in the sequel. Why so creepy!?! If it wasn't for the Statue of Liberty's march to the museum, it would nearly make that movie unwatchable for me. SOOOO CREEPY!
There's news that the writers from The Office are writing a third Ghostbusters script currently, guided by Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramis, and Ivan Reitman. Potentially Judd Apatow will produce this threequel, which could lead to new Ghostbusters like Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, and/or any slew of current funny guys. I hope this happens. When I heard that Dan Ackroyd had written a script for Ghostbusters In Hell, I realized this is the one franchise that does need revived. The rumor that Bill Murray is on board sweetens the deal too. Very funny guys getting together with younger very funny guys and making a sci-fi movie with what should be a huge budget. Please happen.

Beards vote Libertarian

If I were to at some point rub a bottle of any type, thusly freeing a genie, I would be granted three wishes (I saw it in a Disney movie with Robin Williams as the genie). My first wish: I would like to be able to grow a glorious beard. A manly chin mane. As I am apparently slow to pubesse coupled with many what I believe to be Aryan features; I am unable to grow such a MANifestation ®. I'm starting to believe this is because I have never voted Libertarian. I have three buddies who recently took a bustrip to Minneapolis to see Dr. Ron Paul, Congrassman at Law? All three of these buddies have bought into the hype of The rEVOLution: A Manifesto ⓒ (ie: will be voting for Ron Paul this November). All three of these buddies also have GREAT UBERHOSS BEARDS! Beards the likes of which would take approximately thirty generations of Billys to grow, yet only two weeks for these fellas. Personally, I agree with a lot of what I've heard Ron Paul say. The guy knows his stuff and has stuck to that knowledge for a long time. I will not be voting for Ron Paul. I do not see myself supporting a third party candidate unless they are absolutely viable. I DO look at it as a waste of my vote. My vote is not my voice... The responsibility of voting is more important than that. If you know the winner will be one of two choices, it is your responsibility to vote to keep the "greater of two evils" out. That is my opinion on that matter. This is not the only reason I will be voting for Barack Obama. I consider him just about the opposite of an evil. The great thing about this election is that it has spurned a couple of the most influential speakers of my generation. I believe Barack Obama to be the greatest of these (currently). I hang on every word of his speeches. He makes change seem posibble. His plans seem realistic. They are modifications versus complete overhauls of systems to make them productive. Unfortunately, the closer we get to The Election™, the less I see of the traits I initially liked from Obama. Playing the middle road and toning down the rhetoric of your opinions to play to voters... it's bad news. I don't want to see "more of the same" in any aspect of the Obama campaign. That's what I'm voting against. I want change. I want a beard. I'll vote Libertarian in 2012 if I have to...

Oh-ho, Dreamweaver! I believe...

I had some pleasantly odd dreams last night... it's moderately exhilarating to hook up with an ex-girlfriend while running from the owner of a hotel you used to work at. It turned out, he just needed me to sign some termination papers... not kill me. It also turned out that although I've been sexually dormant for a few years now, I've gotten much better at the game of getting busy (granted it was my dream... Weird, wild shtuff.

I have not watched or read any part of John McCain's speech from last night. I have no desire to... I don't give a shit about his time at the Hanoi Hilton. I don't care to be mocked by a Republican crowd saying 'Country First.' I'll pigeon-hole the GOP as a bunch of rich, homophobic, red-neck dumbasses... until I meet one to the contrary. I consider myself to be a moderate... there are 'Republican views' that I can get behind. Unfortunately, there isn't a single Republican politician that I could do the same for (with the exception of some of what Ron Paul says). The ideas have been buried beneath so much negativity and corruption. Acceptance of the status quo when 'the status is not... quo.' There's nothing to be excited about with McCain's campaign... just mortified. If Daddy Mac circa 2000 were here, before he was a neo-con-android, I could at least be happy that whoever wins this election, it will be an improvement over GW. I'm on board with the notion John McCain's presidency would just bring 'more of the same.' That's a pretty terrifying idea given the volatile world climate he'd be inheriting. I would really like to see a sound defeat of McCain in this election. One that would perhaps send the GOP back to the drawing board on what they represent and how they should go about doing so... turn them into a bunch of Ron Pauls? At least they'd be adorable.

Time for a shout-out to Mikey C. and AK. These two dudes can be heard in Des Moines, every Thursday night from 8:00 - 10:00pm on KDPS 88.1FM. Last night was their first show. I listened to the last half hour and counted two lols and one giggle. I'm going to be a guest on the show at some point... that'll be neat.

A lot of work for me the next few days... which means a lot of getting paid very little to do very little, which sounds fair. The Fleur is opening War, Inc. and Tell No One. I haven't heard anything about the latter, but the former stars John Cusack, Dan Ackroyd, and Marissa Tomei (did you see Before the Devil Knows You're Dead? You should if only for this sexy lady's nude scenes... not to be a perv... she just looks great naked). It's a political satire, which means it's right up that alley where I may be walking past, thinking "eh, can't be too bad." Of course, hobos live in alleys and sometimes they mug people for liquor-money. So it goes with alleys. Next weekend, the new Coen Bros. movie 'Burn After Reading' opens. Count me as excited. You put George Clooney, Brad Pitt, or John Malkovich in any movie and I will see it. Also coming out next weekend is Righteous Kill, starring Al Pacino and Robert Deniro. Can't be bad right? I have my doubts.

Welp, that does it for this one... have a good weekend!

... calmer than you are.

Alas, my job search has not yet netted me a new job... the hunt continues tomorrow as I return an application to Sticks, where Willy T. suggested I might sand and/or burn things. Sounds fun? Sounds like a day job... which I need. I CAN'T AFFORD COMICS FOR THE SECOND WEEK IN A ROW!!! Bigger problem: I may not be able to afford to fill my gas tank again 'til next Friday (nine days away...). Here's hoping for some fantastic gas milage this week! Maybe some good news will come out of my unemployment phone conference tomorrow morning? I was recently fired from the hotel I had worked at for the last ten months after being told time and time again throughout that entire span that I would be receiving a promotion. The letting-go-of-Billy took place after I wrote a note to the night auditor, suggesting that he get in check with reality and stop being a dumbass. I didn't use such words and had the backing of my co-workers and manager (as he told me I was "right") in doing this... Anyhow, I performed my job to the standards that were required of me and was let go because they did not want to give me a raise (as we would be entering the slow-season at the hotel). Etc. etc. etc. It should be a nice, easy conversation resulting in me getting a couple of checks that I could really use. Unless I have my kind of luck... then it'll at least be a common refrain. I'm used to things not working out... it happens A LOT.

I got paid to listen to Rudy Guiliani and Sarah Palin's speeches tonight (about $12). Both were despicable. I prefer Daniel "Rudy" Rudiger to Rudy 911. Who wasn't rooting for Rudy to get in the game, with his family and good buddy (Jon Favreau) there watching!?! Enthralling stuff! Much better than twisted rhetoric and cheap shots fed to a crowd of obviously disenfranchised husbands and their hockey-wives. Ugh. How about poor Levi... I can't wait for this election to end and that guy to get a TV show. I got a good chuckle every time the camera cut to him with his baby mama at his side. Fantastic stuff. I was very unimpressed with Sarah Palin's speech. She carried herself well enough, but slamming Barack Obama in front of a conservative crowd is about as easy of a setting as she'll see these next couple months. I cannot wait for the Biden/Palin debate... or the Obama/McCain debate for that matter. Both should prove very confirming in my belief that the Obama/Biden ticket looks great for our future.

I had written some more here... but Blogger didn't like it. Basically, I was just saying that the two new Matt Embree albums (Love You Moon "Waxwane" & The Sound of Animals Fighting "The Ocean and the Sun") are both excellent. I also had some praise for Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog; the soundtrack to which, just became available two nights ago on iTunes. Maybe I'll rewrite my thoughts on these things later on? It's super exhausting to write something and have it deleted though, so I'm out for the evening. Adieu.

Check. Check 1. Sibilance. Sibilance. Check. Check 2. Sibilance. Sibilance.

Something I haven't yet mentioned nor reflected anywhere on this page: I intend to update this regularly, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Also, I'll probably jot some things down randomly between here and there... so, that's the goal.

Notice to company's providing public restrooms:
What kind of customer service is it to provide a place to relieve one's self, yet provide sub-par toilet paper!?! Here's the thing... if I'm using your establishment for some Mambo #2, it's a situation that merits a decent toilet paper; otherwise, I would just return home and use the toilet paper of my own choosing (2-ply, fluffy, w/ quilts, roughly 4" wide). Given this, why would you taunt me with a place to poop and no way to clean it up! This one-ply, width-of-a-baby's palm junk will not suffice! A) I don't want to smear poop all over my butt. B) I don't want to smear poop all over my hands. C) I don't want to be standing in this restroom for the next twenty minutes! What if you provided a quality TP? Guests of your business would use less TP and leave with more than a chaffed, red bung-casm. Sure, you're at greater risk for poor people and/or college students ripping off your paper, but damnit! You owe them so much, what with the alcohol and Krispy Kreme sales (if you're a gas station)! Please, I beg you. I had to take two showers today because of this problem (and an upset stomach).

I have been absolutely enthused with "Babygate" ever since reading the first rumors a couple nights ago. For those not hanging on every Digg article, there was talk that Sarah Palin's four month old child is actually her 17 year old daughter, Bristol's. The argument behind this is that Sarah Palin doesn't appear pregnant in photographs and video taken after she announced she was pregnant (seven months at this time), shocking her staff (who hadn't noticed). Meanwhile, Bristol had been removed from school for five to eight months with "mono." Fast forward, Sarah Palin goes into labor at a speech in Texas. She then boards a plane to Seattle. She then boards a plane Anchorage. She then drives past two hospitals to Wasilla (where she was formerly Mayor) to deliver her child. WHAT!?! That's crazy! She flew at least eight hours while giving birth to a premature child with Downs Syndrome!?! ZOMG!!!1!
This is some of the best political murmoring ever!!! Imagine my disappointment when I returned home this afternoon to read that Sarah Palin announced her 17 year old daughter Bristol is five months pregnant. Alaska's Governor Sarah Palin believes in abstinence-only education. She is a pro-life conservative. Her 17 year old daughter is five months pregnant. She also endangered her child and her own life flying across the continent to give birth. WTF John McCain?
This confirms my suspicion that the GOP is throwing away this election to regroup for 2012. Letting McCain throw away his and a Governor-nobody-had-heard-of's political careers and limiting damage to future potential candidates. It's kinda wonderful. President Obama looks so incredibly promising...

"Geezuz effing christ, no way! Ugghhhhhhhhhhhh! Damn this administration!" After reading this article, that is what I said. How bad is it that I can't just write this off as ridiculous? That while our country's military is tied up in Iraq and Afghanistan... our administration just annoyed both Russia and China... that tension between Israel and Iran seems so sensitive, such a thing is not absurd? Why wouldn't GW spark the wildfire in Iran right before he leaves office? He wouldn't want to tarnish his legacy... Get those warhawk Republicans all fired up to hit the polls in November! It's sick and sad and I don't want to think about it.

On a pleasant note, as I had Twitter'd, I finally read issues #1-4 of Marvel's 'Guardians of the Galaxy' last night. It has made the jump from sat-aside to one of my favorite current books... granted we have to make it out of the first story arch and a Secret Invasion tie-in (... shit). I really dig the team dynamic, the miscellaneous characters (Cosmo ftw), and the Real World Real Room interview frames. The tie-in to the old GotG series (which I wasn't aware of until speaking with Chris today) is a pretty cool move as well. I look forward to the next issue of this as much as the [re]start of Deadpool's series this month. Yey, Marvel!

It's September, which means some great weather is ahead of us... nice cool days and nights. I look forward to chieng'n out and slowing down this year by really enjoying this autumn. Another nice thing about September is the Pirates' season is almost over. I never thought I would miss Jason Bay. His horrible defense, weak lobs to the infield, and inability to hit with runners on base only annoyed me! Then, he started to turn it around this year with some big late-inning hits... Then, the Pirates trade Xavier Nady and Damaso Marte. I liked X a bunch and really hoped that he would be able to stick around. The guy is so clutch at the plate late in a game. He would make some great catches and some strong throws to the plate. He was one of the best players I've seen in a Pirates uniform in so long. Gone. Marte, I can live without. Relief pitchers don't win games. When Bay was sent to the Red Sox, I thought the return looked very much worth the move. But alas, LaRoche looks like his brother in April... Hansen is a nut-job and can't throw strikes... Morris was shut down in AA with a bad shoulder... and Moss is obviously still a bit light on his ankle and maybe a five-spot guy in the lineup at best. Ugh. If only MLB would enforce a salary cap and the Bucs could get and keep some quality talent around. If only the Pirates could hire a manager who is out for the win every single inning of every single game. It's brutal watching them now. McCutchen should be called up this month. Let him get his feet wet for next season. Let fans have a chance to witness for themselves what this guy is about and judge if waiting for the 2011 and 2012 seasons is going to be worth the wait! Give me a reason other than my receeding hairline to sport my Bucs cap...