Where there's a Will, there's a dude probably named William.

ANOTHER WTF REPORT REJECTED! This one from the number three girl on the top five. This gives me a grand total of two rejects, one accept, and two remain pending... #1 & #4. I don't give a damn what number four thinks really... I couldn't live with myself proceeding forward with a number four. I do wish that number one would get off her ass and get back on her ass in front of a computer looking at her WTF Report Requests!!! How am I supposed to know if you're not dumb? Am I just supposed to message you based on my attraction to you from a profile picture? Do you wish me so shallow!?! Ugh. Maybe she already found love in the outside world... awwwww. That'd be adorable; but to quote Ben Affleck, "When Lord!?! When's gonna be mah time!?!" I'd go all Jesusy if it meant an increase in lady time... Jesusy... This pasta is good, but I just wish it was a bit more Jesusy.

I applied for a pretty Jesusy job yesterday. It was suggested to me by a pal that I should submit a resume to a very large Catholic church in West Des Moines, as they were looking for a full time audio engineer. "Well shoot," I said. "I've done been running audio boards for six years! But darn! I ain't got no Jesus in me!" My inner voice was raised in the Appalachians. I included with my resume, a cover letter that specifically noted that while tolerant of others' beliefs, I identify myself as an Agnostic. No Jesus gossip here, folks. I'm not so bold as to say it isn't possible (too many dumb arguments come from this statement)... I am so bold as to say that I find it very highly unlikely. I attended Church every Sunday morning while growing up. I have my own Bible with my name etched into the cover (It was a prize for remembering the Ten Commandments quicker than others in my class). I was into the story, but even through most of that time, that is all I looked at it as. This great story that supports the building of some very decent moral values (Disclaimer: only some, some of that shit is super outdated amirite?). It's an early childhood education tool that way too many bigkids are still more into than logic and rationale [a skill that science suggests may only be contained in a small percentage Y chromosomes (see: science)].
As I grew older, I realized that for some reason society made it necessary for me to arbitrarily identify my specific take on the subject at hand. After reading Bertrand Russell's Why I Am Not A Christian, I decided that whole fear of God thing really wasn't for me and having learned the opposite of Jesus is anarchy, I was an anarchist for a month or so. After learning that anarchy actually doesn't really have to deal with religion, I was an Athiest for a couple years. Then, I read some arguments people were having online in these magical forums. This is where I first read the word Agnostic. I looked it up and saw that it provided for total liberation from the discussion because you can apathetically be on both sides of the fence (without chafing). Since that time, I've seen no reason to change my stance on the subject. I figure that if I'm bleeding out, I'll probably say a prayer and if that doens't work and a vengeful mother fucker of a God doesn't want to hang out with me, I'll go to hell or wherever on principal alone.